The danger is that being too complacent can derail your career vs The feeling of not good enough // imposter syndrome
I was first introduced to ‘Emotional intelligence’ in a bible study group, which exposed us to — Journey to the centre of yourself. Most of this lesson is not taught in school or even our parents’ experience. So, I felt like I was in this contemplate feeling of exploring when and where to draw the link to the extent of rewarding ourselves.
Satisfied but not showing off enough to not look like we are complacent which often complacency is she who is content with what has been done is an obstacle in the path of progress. Emotional Education is at the core of what we need to lead a fulfilled life — and is what ‘The School of Life’ teaches online and in physical branches around the world. In this film, founder of The School, Alain de Botton discusses what emotional education is — and why we so badly need it.
We spend years in school learning facts and figures but the one thing we’re never taught is how to live a fulfilled life. That’s why we need to understand our conscious mind. Behind our hidden motives, what is the ‘Elephant in the brain’, why do we hide our own motives, and hidden motives of everyday life. It is still a journey for our big aim is to equip people with fulfilled life, and the tools to survive and thrive in the modern world. And the most important of these tools is emotional intelligence.
Resistance skills —American social psychologist, Jonathan Haidt used a rider and elephant analogy to explain why we are resistant to new ideas and beliefs. The rider is the rational side of our mind while the elephant is the unconscious and emotional side. To change a person’s view, it is useless to focus on the rider without addressing the elephant.
If you ever heard about the term ‘the elephant in the room’, this refers to what we unconsciously hide it, maybe because the competitive or environment around us appear so people refuse to acknowledge and talk about it. So this book talked about the analogy of redwood trees that they grouped together, competition leads to social norms and based on our thoughts we will rationalise or justify (duh, we are human). Like in this post, my selfish reason of writing this post is to be reminded of what I learned and trying to be productive and get as much exposure to open opportunities.
I guess the association of these trees to human, to understand that we humans are too social creatures. So our brain press secretary — our instinct to know towards the intention to the selfishness, why we want to do better, we need or in position to deceive others in order to get the best for ourselves and group we are in. Most of our acts are altruistic on the surface, showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish. Whereas, we already might seem to have some hidden selfish motives.
Until then, we need to compare not outcompete our peers powered by the society pressuring us in the race. I love this quote from this book too: “we don’t worship simply because we believe. Instead, we worship and believe because it helps us as a social creatures.”
It happened to 7 out of 10 women working in the IT industry, the behaviour stems from fear of loss. Usually the person has experienced great loss or abandonment in early childhood. They may have been victimised and often felt alone. They aren’t an imposter, they are simply people who have been penalized for being themselves and are trying to avoid those experiences. Imposter makes it seem like it was a choice, its actually just a highly evolved defense mechanism for protection. Success equates to independence and choice. Its simply a trauma response. There are many avenues to heal from trauma.
The Australian Curriculum defines scientific literacy as:
An ability to use scientific knowledge, understanding, and inquiry skills to identify questions, acquire new knowledge, explain science phenomena […] and draw evidence-based conclusions in making sense of the world, and to recognise how understandings of […] science help us make responsible decisions and shape our interpretations of information.
My imposter syndrome is tested when attending meeting with a group of people, but one thing that remind me of these days are they DO NOT care about you and you alone. They care about their own parts, well, this is something that gave me a breath of reassurance that it is my life and each people have its own path